Namesake
by TheGreenBook
Summary: Spoilers for Clockwork Princess! The year is 1886, eight years after the events of Clockwork Princess, and Tessa is meeting Jem on Blackfriar's Bridge.


Author's Note: Welcome to my new fic, Namesake! Thank you for reading. This is a one shot I wrote unexpectedly between Great Expectations and my next planned fic. Please read, review, and enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I own none of these characters. This is a work of fiction based on the characters in Cassandra Clare's Infernal Devices series. No money is being made on this work. This is a work of fiction and should be treated as such. I will accept critiques but not flames. Reviews are most definitely encouraged. Please enjoy!**

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**Namesake**

September, 1886

That year, fall had set in early, and as Tessa crossed the bridge, she was acutely aware of the temperature. It seemed as though it had been summer just the day before, but now there was a chill in the air. This was the eighth year she woke up and had breakfast with her husband in the Institute's dining room before Will turned the newspaper over and noticed the date. He didn't have to say anything, and he never did. Instead, Will raised his eyes to his wife's face, steeled his nerve, and wished her well.

It was never a bone of contention between Will and Tessa. Will had been Jem's parabatai and they still saw one another often, but Tessa had planned to marry Jem, and though she had married Will, an unspoken tie still tethered her to Jem. Jem allowed it and Will accepted it, and once a year, Tessa got to spend an hour with Jem, on Blackfriar's Bridge. There was nothing to be discussed. Once a year, once breakfast was finished, Will would list his tasks for the day and Tessa would nod, and then she would prepare to leave.

This year had been busy. Will saw Jem only once at the beginning of the year when he had been injured in a Clave dispatch. A Silent Brother was summoned and Jem arrived, dressed in his long, dark robe, alone as he was most of the time. Jem had seen himself to the bedroom that Tessa and Will shared and closed the door behind himself. Tessa had stopped at the door and rested her hand on the doorframe, closing her eyes. She knew she could have gone in. She was Will's wife, after all, and the vow "In sickness and in health" included being at his side when he was hurt. Still, Tessa remained outside of the room, not wanting to intrude, not wanting to take anything away from this sacred meeting.

An hour later, Jem had emerged from the room and told Tessa that Will would need to rest and recover. He said nothing else, only drew his hood up over his face and walked down the hallway, his shoulders sagging beneath the weight of an unseen pain. Tessa had unconsciously lifted her hand and placed it on her stomach. Jem had always been able to discern Will's every emotion, be it sadness or unspeakable joy.

It had been hardly a week since they had found out for certain, yet Tessa hadn't sent word to the Silent City, unsure of how to tell Jem the news. Will hadn't told anyone at the Institute, not even his sister Cecily or her husband Gabriel, whom Will had grown close to in Jem's absence. But Jem knew these things, and would have known one way or another that Tessa was with child.

Eight months ago, as Tessa watched Jem leave the Institute with hardly a goodbye to anyone, she had felt a painful wedge drive between her and Jem.

She was unsure if Jem would want to meet her that year. Tessa was unsure of how to speak to him. The six times before this time had been different. Sometimes they talked, though Jem knew all that was going on at the Institute, Tessa told him things anyway. Sometimes they sat in silence, looking out over London, each having a chance to see how things had changed, while how some things, like the bridge they met on, in the same place, year after year, remained the same. There was a comfort with Jem that remained even after he became a Silent Brother. He was always there, always reliable, the same steady flame he always had been. Year after year, they met and talked, but this year could be different.

Tessa took her time, bundling herself in a flowing dress and a long cape before leaving the Institute. It was a short walk to the bridge, and there she sat on a stone bench and looked out over the people and carriages that hurried past. At precisely noon she saw something gray out of the corner of her eye, and then Jem sat down beside her and folded his hands in his lap. He smelled of smoke and ash. Tessa closed her eyes and breathed in his smell.

"I was afraid you wouldn't join me this year," she whispered.

"I promised you," Jem replied, his voice sounding odd and distant. This she was used to, how his voice changed when he no longer needed to use it. His words were soft and thin, nearly lost on the wind. Tessa moved closer, as did he, until her shoulder was pressed against his. Jem said nothing; he only slightly relaxed his posture. They had once been in bed together, warm mouths meeting against and again, warm hands tracing over skin, but now, the thought of that was foreign. "I will always meet you, Tessa. I promise you this."

Tessa nodded quickly and closed her eyes. It was several long moments before Jem spoke again.

"Before, at the Institute, I was surprised," Jem said. Tessa wanted to open her mouth and say that she and Will had been surprised, but Jem shook his head. "I knew that you would move on, and marry Will, and make a family with him. I wanted this for you, so very much so. I am happy for you."

Tessa exhaled quickly. All though the pregnancy, though every joyous moment between finding out that they were expecting, to the time when they found they were carrying a boy, right up until the baby's arrival, in the back of Tessa's mind, she was thinking of Jem.

One such occasion had occurred when Will was painting the nursery a bright shade of blue. Tessa had sat in the rocking chair, watching as Will painted and dreamed aloud all of the things he wanted to do with his son. One moment, Tessa was smiling, and the next moment, her eyes were clouded with tears. She had gripped the jade pendent she wore around her neck in her hand and sobbed, having never cried once in the pregnancy. This time the floodgates opened and everything flowed out, every bit of pain and sadness and happiness being conveyed in tears and ragged breathes. Tessa and Will were receiving a wonderful gift, a miracle, even, in the form of a child, and the one person they wanted to share this joy with was not there. Will had been shocked but then he understood; he had come over to her and took her free hand and sat with her until she was calm again.

"I wanted to hear that from you," Tessa said quickly, feeling herself becoming overwhelmed with emotion. "Not that I need your actualization. You were... you are so important to us."

"You are important to me as well," Jem said. "You know that I cannot marry or ever have a family. I had to give all of those things up, but I still want those things for you, Tessa. I want you to love Will with all of your heart. I want you to have a beautiful family. I want you to have a life, and not the abbreviated life I could have offered. You and Will have the potential to have an amazing life together, and though it hurts me to see you live that life without me, I very much want that for you."

Tessa nodded and took a few breathes. Jem reached over and touch her hand, causing her to jump, startled. A tiny cry broke the air, followed by a sob, and then a baby began to wail. Jem sat back quickly, smiling.

"And here I thought you had smuggled a chicken out of the Institute," Jem said. Tessa blushed and pulled back her cape, then shifted her arm to lift the baby out of the sling she wore around her chest. She held him close and patted his back as Jem watched, eyes filled with wonder and the smallest bit of sadness.

"He was born in July, a little less than two months ago. I wasn't sure if you would want to meet him," Tessa said. She took a breath, watching Jem, whose dark eyes were trained on the baby. Jem said nothing, only shaking his head slightly. "I debated bringing him, but…"

"You were right to," Jem said, tracing his finger ever so gently over the baby's soft hand. The baby opened his eyes then, two golden irises that looked jarring in his pale skin, made brighter by his hair, as dark, thick, and wild as his father's. "I see far too little of life, Tessa, and far too much death. You were right to bring him." The baby stopped crying then and looked over at Jem, his tiny lips pouting.

"His name is James," Tessa said. "James William. Will would have no other name for his son." Jem smiled.

"A fine name, indeed," Jem said. "He's beautiful, Tessa. You should be proud of what you have accomplished." The baby smiled a little then, reaching out for Jem.

Tessa could have said many more things- there was so much to discuss, but as Jem clapped his hands, causing baby James to giggle and squeal, she decided that all of those things could wait for another year.

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**Author's Note: Thank you for reading! Please review and leave feedback if you loved, hated or felt anything for this story. I deeply appreciate feedback!**


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